You are probably a Latter Day Saint if...

In going through the office, Chris found a calendar I had given him a few years ago. Since there aren't any actual dates, he decided to use it again. It's called, "You are probably a Latter-Day Saint if..." and it's pretty darn funny! I told him I was going to start putting the jokes in the weekly bulletin instead of something spiritual. Hey, maybe I'll get released! (I highly doubt it even though it has been over 2.5 years!) Anyway, here are a few I just read:
You are probably a Latter-Day Saint if:
-The names of your two feisty guinea pigs are Laman and Lemuel.
-The majority of e-mails you get are updates on church assignments.
-Your shoulder is sore from putting it to the wheel.
-The only beer you drink has a root in it.
-You've ever rushed out to buy milk on a Saturday night at 11:30pm.
-You have seen the name Melchizedek at least a thousand times and still can't spell it.
-The beanbag chair in your family room counts as part of your food storage.
-You have ever attended a meeting to plan a meeting.
-You know who Johnny Lingo is.
-When you smashed your finger the only four-letter word you uttered was, "Ouch."
-You have ever sat under a basketball hoop during a church meeting.

I have more, many more, but Chris is nagging me to go upstairs to go to his grandparents house. ;) And he just informed me that we have to go to the store to get a dessert for dinner at his parents tomorrow, even though while I was out earlier I called him to ask if we needed to bring anything, to which he replied, "No." (Now he wants me to say that he "forgot" to tell me we needed dessert for tomorrow!) Okay, I'm getting the evil eye now for being a brat! Ha! That's what happens when drugs run out and you forget to go to Walgreen's!

(Note: this was actually written Saturday night, but somehow didn't get published. Didn't want anyone thinking I was going to the store on a Sunday! ;) )